THE STORY MINT SERIAL CHAPTERS
Deep River – This one was quite a challenge for me. I am in no way an extreme sports fan, so white river rafting took a bit of effort on my part. I wrote chapter 9 and added a nice twist that Mrellan used to great advantage in chapter 10.
Great work, Sumanda! Bringing it all back around, tying in the fire and why Susan would care for the oaf. I almost like him. It felt like you got so much in with only 500 words. And what a cliffhannger for the last author. But did he really say “son”?
Nice wrap up Sumanda. I don’t know about cliffhanger at the end but certainly a mystery that adds some spice to be resolved. I like the factual description of pink bubbles from the lung injury too. Great chapter.
That is a nice one. Well done. I really liked the reference to her scars and that he saw past the physical, even perhaps found them beautiful, to see and know her. Just by his brief words I feel like Artie still hasn’t learned his lesson about being conservative or mature! His son? Oh, boy! Does he have a son? Or does he want her to give her a son? Or is teh sun in his eyes….haha. It seems that many people here don’t like Artie. I have to admit, I’m not to fond of him either. Nice chapter indeed.
There’s always something interesting about a story that has no neat ending; a story that lets the murderer walk away, especially if it happens to be a bent cop. Sumanda’s use of the initials in the logbook – DS – as Smits initials, I’ll bet was one of those moments when a writer suddenly gets a flash of inspiration. It changed the story from a very good one to a memorable one. It also gave us, I think, our first story that not only had a great starter but also a great conclusion.
I just re-read the story from start to finish. What a great collection of writers and chapter that flow together to make for a very engaging read. This ending stands out as the starring peice that tied it all together. BRAVO
Tremendous effort. Sumanda has kept the high standard of creative writing that has marked this serial as the all time best in my view. You can’t just invent this kind of pros. You have to research. I loved the hook. Our hero has turned old prematurely and that definitely follows faerie folklore. This has changed my mind about faeries.
Wow, you had me transported to another place. I felt and saw every detail. It was magic! Very clever and well done. And the end was stunning! Great to have you back writing Sumanda!
WHEW!!!!! What a compelling chapter! What a wind-up! What a surprise!!!! As I first started reading, I thought, Oh, yeah, that’s a good way to resolve this. And then it continued and changed! And what an eerie conclusion! Terrific Syfy! omg! GREAT chapter! GREAT conclusion (or, actually, (dum de dum dum), it will go on. And on… oh, it is deliciously clever!
I also won the best chapter of the month with this one.
Okay, Sumanda. You have set yourself up for a solo author serial – to carry on from here. I think thats a great idea, don’t you? This is so well ended but still open to be followed. I loved this.
Great Chapter! Was a surprise today morning when I just logged on to Story Mint and found it uploaded, without any announcement on the face-book page. The story is gaining momentum and getting crispier. Lets see where it goes! Thoroughly enjoyed reading this Sumanda Martiz. It made my day!
This is a chapter written by someone who has a lot of experience with IT. There’s nothing here that says that but it’s obvious and that is what makes it such a good and interesting piece of work. There is a lot of information here and yet it doesn’t get bogged down into boredom. We know such a lot more about the main character and the cherry on top of the cake is the created mystery by one short sentence – ‘And then it got weird.’ Great chapter. Nice to see the return to serials of an old ‘Minter.’
This is a fabulous chapter and I couldn’t find any deviation from the preface. You have given the character depth and built a very powerful story line. Fantastic!
Chapter 2 comment
Loved this. The story is gathering momentum and the mystery getting deeper by the page turn. What is even more interesting is seeing how the language is tackled and every writer is different. Sumanda injects just enough to get us in the mood but without going over the top. The script reads smoothly and puts us into the 18th century as we read the first paragraph. It’s a joy to read. Loved this, Sumanda. Two hooks at the end – a shock and then a mystery. Great stuff.
Chapter 10 comment
You captured the voice of the characters and the tone to match the period this story is reflecting. But you also gave us the historical and political situation of the Bal Maids. This was well researched and authenticated the chapter. Great effort!
Silver Shoes – After a fantastic discussion on writing and speculation regarding men with cellulite and stretch marks in chapter 1, here is my chapter 2 in this slice of life serial. I also wrote chapter 7.
Chapter 2 comments
Twist Untwisted!!! Great Job, Sumanda Martiz… I wonder what will happen next?
I like this has returned to a bit of ground level. We are back in weddingville.
Chapter 7 comments
And on and on this great serial goes. When a group of writers get the collective ‘feel’ for a serial it takes on a life of its own and you wish it would go ‘on and on.’ Sumanda’s chapter is a wonderful example of a writer really getting into the plot with nothing looking (reading) false. Reading this was almost like watching and listening to a conversation with the girls – a fly on the wall documentary. So natural. Terrific chapter, Sumanda.
What a perfect way to follow on from Donna. I loved the nuances. The people’s other lives like Aunt Glenda who hates daisies. What a gorgeous touch adding many layers to the story. This is becoming an exceptional story with comedy and mystery…Where is Vic? for example and the little girl?
ho ho ho…what else can go wrong on this disaster- prone wedding day??
Dear me ! How is this going to end?
Great fun to read!
This is a great chapter, Sumanda. And the way you have developed Bettina’s character is very clever, especially her speech. It will be a challenge for me to continue in that vein. Wonderful writing!
This is an excellent chapter. The interaction between the two women is almost audible with each accented word. Each woman had her distinct character and the kindness Stella shows towards Betina show a compassionate while troubled woman. These two characters and the scenario are beautifully developed.
Good chapter. A little confusing in the beginning though.
Nice chapter, Sumanda. He seems like a man coming undone, one tomato at a time and I really liked the twist at the end.
Well at least the story is at last moving into another phase. Three chapters about how a young girl is kidnapped away from a man she doesn’t want – by two more men who want her at first and then don’t. Now she is, we hope going to meet the love of her life – unless he gets rid of her in a card game. Gosh this is exciting. At least Sumanda has tried to bring life to this lack-lustre serial. My opinion is we left this too long for it to be booked and in the meantime the serials ‘moved on’ Written with good description and a knee in the groin to move it forward, Sumanda has breathed some life into the story and woken the characters’ up. Well done Sumanda
Very pertinent comment. I think the problem I’m thinking outback Australia, early 1930s period and then something happens and I have to rearrange my thinking. Tricky story well handled Sumanda.
This chapter has a great twist at the end. Sci fi is definitely your thing Sumanda. You have a terrific imagination and ability to draw the pictures that make your character real. I can see the relationship with Layla being that of mentor and the man from her vision is significant. Be interesting to see how these relationships develop.
I have found that Sci Fi allows the writer’s imagination to run riot, explore and push the outer bounds of a life none of us have lived or experienced yet – BUT in an ordered and understandable way which makes the reader think – “Yes, that is possible or at least feasible” Sumanda has written a wonderful chapter that twists the imagination and gives us more insight into the minds of the players. They are special people doing special things – why? What are the silver spheres and what is their function – collective mind control or individual teaching aids? In Sci Fi anything is possible as long as the writer/creator takes us on the trip as participants and not just spectators. Sci Fi is for those who want to be involved in the wild imaginings of the creator of the story. Sumanda has achieved just that together with an ending that encourages strange images and thoughts in a dark recess somewhere at the back of our brain. Well written and thought out, Sumanda. This one is top of my list.
This serial is progressing so nicely and at pace. Chapter 3 already and we know the characters that have been introduced and we are familiar with the perspective that these “beings” have on our world. We also have many “rules” around their situation, the experiences they are yet to have and the process Emily is going through.
You have done an excellent job at creating flow of writing style and pace from the first chapter, well done.
What a delightful starter! Wistful with a touch of wickedness.
Sumanda, fantasies are a little out of my comfort zone. However i just love the scene you’ve captured. It’s just beautiful. And it will be good for me to try something different. Fantastic starter!
Chapter 1 comments
This is really nice and written with a soft stroke of the pen. Although some fairy stories have an element of wickedness about them, they should also have characters that we warm to and want to help, nice little innocent girls for example. Sumanda has written a little mysteriously and added that softness of the girl who is discovering something that maybe only she, apart from the medicine woman, will eventually figure out. The fawn interests me and adds that fantasy element without being to intrusive. Loved this, Sumanda.
I really enjoyed the pace, all the hustle and bustle of a fair. I was right in there with Kali. Grandma Aimes and her wisdom provide excellent foreshadowing which we might see start to take shape in Kali. And yes, like Ray loved the Fawn….I look forward to seeing how it develops in the story also. Beautiful, gentle, insightful crafting of your chapter, Sumanda.
Wow, Sumanda, you have captured a picture of South Africa that is so vivid, i can see it.
‘Imagine New York cut down to ten stories and sprawled over ten times the area. That is what most of Gauteng looked like.’ Wonderful description.
Have to add it to my list of places to go!!! Haha
Yes, I agree with Roseyn. You have captured South Africa, the matriarch elephant was awe inspiring. The Mopani worms sounded delicious ): I wonder if you could have described what they tasted like and looked like. Great chapter and great insight into S. Africa. Wonderful!
Great chapter and with a good twist. Well done in bringing this to conclusion.
What a twist at the end. You brought the threads together and the people all turned out to be not as they seemed but this was convincingly done. Engaging writing as always and a great pace.
Wow! What a great strategy for this chapter and an excellent delivery, providing us with the snippets that we need to progress the relationship between such combatants. Bringing Mirembe into the story once more in the way that you have generates a belief that all has ended how it was meant to. I found this an exciting read.
Wow Sumanda, once again you have demonstrative your fantastic storytelling skills. You’ve tied the story up and shown the reader the way forward for breaking the spell.
This is a very clever way of dealing with a serial that for some unknown reason threw up so many inconsistencies it became easy to lose the thread and write in new information that did not build on the narrative. This ending gives the serial credibility.
Wow!! Loved the starter. A new genre to explore. Took me back to the days when I used to read Harry Potter books to my children. Now I will get to write my own magic tale!!!! Great job Sumanda.
I’m not passing on this one. Another serial we can explore our own imaginations with. Lovely starter from Sumanda. Full of mystic antiquity and lots of dark corners where rats and little boys scamper to safety. And what is coming out of the pot? Not stew but a big bowl of magic. I can’t wait to taste the concoction and turn into a handsome Prince Charming – well almost. Brillient starter.
This incredible starter made my imagination go wild. Again, not a genre I’ve tried but how can i resist. Great stuff, Sumanda.
Chapter 1 comments
Super chapter Sumanda. Very vivid description and great character development. I have big shoes to fill for sure!!
This was a clever end to this story. What a great solution to have parasites eat their hosts and solve the problem of the parallel universes and people and to destroy the aliens who like resonance by giving them dissonance….perfect. Your creative imagination is inspiring Sumanda.